procrastination
Sep. 1st, 2015 09:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's a habit, a vice, an artform, a crutch, a burden, a barrier, an indulgence, a treat, a sin, an obligation, and as much of who I am as the nose on my face. And much like my nose, at times I am oblvious to it, and at other times very self-conscious of it. But at no time do I feel the need to "fix" it. Perhaps indulge in it less, let it have less of a subconscious say in my life, but it is part and parcel of who I am. I like to think--and hope it is true--that I have made it work for me. That it makes me less impulsive, less impetuous, less rash despite being a very emotionally-driven person. I do know that I am no where near objective enough to judge if that is true.
I have been procrastinating writing about something since June, since my first trip back to Ohio to see my Dad. And I don't know when I will be ready to let it go and write it. In June it was too fresh and not fully-formed. In July I was biased by too many things, including taking my son Mike out to Ohio and watching him go through a much-reduced version of what I went through when he saw my Dad. And now that it has had time to simmer, to allow for reflection and introspection and the emotional heat had lowered.... I don't know. I am going back out there this weekend. I am hoping that this trip will be the final bought of input and inspiration and experience that I need to let it all out.
I have been procrastinating writing about something since June, since my first trip back to Ohio to see my Dad. And I don't know when I will be ready to let it go and write it. In June it was too fresh and not fully-formed. In July I was biased by too many things, including taking my son Mike out to Ohio and watching him go through a much-reduced version of what I went through when he saw my Dad. And now that it has had time to simmer, to allow for reflection and introspection and the emotional heat had lowered.... I don't know. I am going back out there this weekend. I am hoping that this trip will be the final bought of input and inspiration and experience that I need to let it all out.