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disappearing for a while
Nov. 13th, 2007 10:49 pmWith the Court case done I have to now focus on getting on with the rest of my life, or I won't ever do it. So I need to focus on stuff like getting my place cleaned-out begin packing-up. I have to push my Ex for regular time with my kids, and then not just ask for it but show-up like I expect her to play along every single time. I have to deal with my wayward teenage son whose job search has been selectively careful enough that he's not gotten one by accident.
I have to deal with working my part-time job into as much of a full-time one as I can get away with. I have to be diligent about getting the shite I've set aside for listing on ebay listed, particularly during those weeks when the part-time job is really just that, without spending the wrong time listing stuff on ebay that I make the part-time job a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have to figure out my bill situation for next month, as I was stupid enough to have actually planned four months ago on being fully employed by now and my contingencies for next month are hinging largely on a job offer that has yet to materialize.
I have to open myself up to the possibility that I won't get a job anywhere near to where I live, and that I will have to relocate in order to acquire employment gain-full enough to meet my responsibilities. I have to decide how long I am going to wait for a job offer that may not happen before I resign myself to looking *anywhere*, including well out of state.
I have to figure out what I'm going to do with the remaining 20 or 30 or possibly even 40 years I have left in this world so I can start down that road now. And I have to resign myself to the fact that I'm most likely going to be going down that road alone. But I have to make that trip. I have three kids who still depend on me to provide for them, and staying here and pretending that the right job is going to come to me is just going to leave them cold and hungry, and ultimately homeless.
They deserve better. They certainly didn't ask to be here, didn't ask me to quit my job, didn't ask for their mom and me to split-up, and don't have a say in how well or poorly I planned or have handled this.
So I'm taking some time to get my act together, literally and otherwise. It's been an interesting ride, but I have to stop now.
I have to deal with working my part-time job into as much of a full-time one as I can get away with. I have to be diligent about getting the shite I've set aside for listing on ebay listed, particularly during those weeks when the part-time job is really just that, without spending the wrong time listing stuff on ebay that I make the part-time job a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have to figure out my bill situation for next month, as I was stupid enough to have actually planned four months ago on being fully employed by now and my contingencies for next month are hinging largely on a job offer that has yet to materialize.
I have to open myself up to the possibility that I won't get a job anywhere near to where I live, and that I will have to relocate in order to acquire employment gain-full enough to meet my responsibilities. I have to decide how long I am going to wait for a job offer that may not happen before I resign myself to looking *anywhere*, including well out of state.
I have to figure out what I'm going to do with the remaining 20 or 30 or possibly even 40 years I have left in this world so I can start down that road now. And I have to resign myself to the fact that I'm most likely going to be going down that road alone. But I have to make that trip. I have three kids who still depend on me to provide for them, and staying here and pretending that the right job is going to come to me is just going to leave them cold and hungry, and ultimately homeless.
They deserve better. They certainly didn't ask to be here, didn't ask me to quit my job, didn't ask for their mom and me to split-up, and don't have a say in how well or poorly I planned or have handled this.
So I'm taking some time to get my act together, literally and otherwise. It's been an interesting ride, but I have to stop now.
