![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ok, now what?
Feb. 7th, 2005 12:57 amI'm still sick with a head cold that just won't go away. I'm tired, cranky, sick of being sick, and trying desperately not be be overwhelmed. I've had so much going on, so much to say about it, and yet none of it I want to write here or actually say in front of anyone, anywhere.
It seems all I'm shooting for is end points: Get the house done. Get the income tax return done. Get estimate from new contractor so I can find out if the first guy is going to be willing to settle in the face getting taken to court in what ought to be a slam dunk for me to collect against him. Get caught up, unburried, and wrap-up the projects I have going at work. And on and on and on.
I spent tonight watching the football game at the house. Mike's an Eagle's fan, so he was rather crushed by how the game ended. Aside from that, it was a nice bit of escapism. It was nice to be a family man, even if only for a few hours. But tomorrow is back to the grind. I have to find a way to change that. So far I've been shut-out in that regard.
I looked into taking Project Management class at the local community college. I found out Thursday that they dropped two of the three elective sessions they offered, leaving only the MS Project hands-on, which I've had before and no desire to repeat. So school was a big no-go.
I thought very seriously about going to Convergence this spring. That got derailed when I got shut-out of the training class for the Network Attached Storage product (that my employer bought LAST MAY) and the next class is, over course, the same week. The class time was purchased when we bought the product which gives me no choice about not going. And because the credit is only good for a year, April is my last shot, so there's no delaying it any further.
I used to take pride in defining myself as a husband and father. I have children, but don't at all feel like a family man. I'm not yet divorced, but after 2.5 years of seperation, it's not like I have a marriage. I have a place where I live, but I very much feel like I am without a home.
What happens when you are used to defining yourself by your place in life, and all that is changed? I guess that's what I'm struggling to find out.
It seems all I'm shooting for is end points: Get the house done. Get the income tax return done. Get estimate from new contractor so I can find out if the first guy is going to be willing to settle in the face getting taken to court in what ought to be a slam dunk for me to collect against him. Get caught up, unburried, and wrap-up the projects I have going at work. And on and on and on.
I spent tonight watching the football game at the house. Mike's an Eagle's fan, so he was rather crushed by how the game ended. Aside from that, it was a nice bit of escapism. It was nice to be a family man, even if only for a few hours. But tomorrow is back to the grind. I have to find a way to change that. So far I've been shut-out in that regard.
I looked into taking Project Management class at the local community college. I found out Thursday that they dropped two of the three elective sessions they offered, leaving only the MS Project hands-on, which I've had before and no desire to repeat. So school was a big no-go.
I thought very seriously about going to Convergence this spring. That got derailed when I got shut-out of the training class for the Network Attached Storage product (that my employer bought LAST MAY) and the next class is, over course, the same week. The class time was purchased when we bought the product which gives me no choice about not going. And because the credit is only good for a year, April is my last shot, so there's no delaying it any further.
I used to take pride in defining myself as a husband and father. I have children, but don't at all feel like a family man. I'm not yet divorced, but after 2.5 years of seperation, it's not like I have a marriage. I have a place where I live, but I very much feel like I am without a home.
What happens when you are used to defining yourself by your place in life, and all that is changed? I guess that's what I'm struggling to find out.
