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May. 4th, 2006 12:49 amSo I've wandered full-circle and am again back to the "what's the point of it all".
Work is pathetically sucky. The goals I was given during my review, while somewhat specific, have absolutely not structure, expectations, or timeline with them. So I'm again left to make it up as I go, which I completely despise doing.
I spent the better part of an hour today talking with my manager. I like my manager, and I think he mostly likes me. He's tired of me being frustrated in his face; that much he made plain. While he does hear me, he's not exactly Mr. Action-Man about dealing with it. And I don't get it. He's as frustrated about this as I am, he's the manager and in a much better position to get some change for the better going. But it's not happening.
I know he wants to get my new coworking off to a class for admin'ing the SAN; he's acknowledged the need to also have him go get indoctrinated by the Vendor for our HR/Payroll application so the company isn't solely dependant on me to be the technical "expert". But neither class has been scheduled. I don't know if the conversations about either have even happened. None of this is a surprise. He was hired in October; it's been 6 months and we're still in the same boat.
The thing that bugs me the most is that most of the management doesn't get it. It's not like anyone is born known any of this stuff. And, there isn't anything I don't know that anyone else putting forth an honest effort can't learn. It's not the amount or the esotericness of the information that I deal with in my job, it's having the discipline to keep track of it and having the discipline and patience to correctly and completely identify the context of every situation in order to correctly make use of that information. And almost no one gets it. My manager does and doesn't. And it's getting old.
I hate being a complainer. But even more I hate being in a place where I can't deal with what I'm complaining about. There's two ways to deal with a problem: fix it, or remove it. For the most of it, I'm not allowed to do either. In part because not everyone involved, for many reasons, sees the situation as a problem. And in part because the organization is inherantly lazy. That's not going to change. Not by my hand, anyway. Knowing that isn't helping me deal with it though.
Work is pathetically sucky. The goals I was given during my review, while somewhat specific, have absolutely not structure, expectations, or timeline with them. So I'm again left to make it up as I go, which I completely despise doing.
I spent the better part of an hour today talking with my manager. I like my manager, and I think he mostly likes me. He's tired of me being frustrated in his face; that much he made plain. While he does hear me, he's not exactly Mr. Action-Man about dealing with it. And I don't get it. He's as frustrated about this as I am, he's the manager and in a much better position to get some change for the better going. But it's not happening.
I know he wants to get my new coworking off to a class for admin'ing the SAN; he's acknowledged the need to also have him go get indoctrinated by the Vendor for our HR/Payroll application so the company isn't solely dependant on me to be the technical "expert". But neither class has been scheduled. I don't know if the conversations about either have even happened. None of this is a surprise. He was hired in October; it's been 6 months and we're still in the same boat.
The thing that bugs me the most is that most of the management doesn't get it. It's not like anyone is born known any of this stuff. And, there isn't anything I don't know that anyone else putting forth an honest effort can't learn. It's not the amount or the esotericness of the information that I deal with in my job, it's having the discipline to keep track of it and having the discipline and patience to correctly and completely identify the context of every situation in order to correctly make use of that information. And almost no one gets it. My manager does and doesn't. And it's getting old.
I hate being a complainer. But even more I hate being in a place where I can't deal with what I'm complaining about. There's two ways to deal with a problem: fix it, or remove it. For the most of it, I'm not allowed to do either. In part because not everyone involved, for many reasons, sees the situation as a problem. And in part because the organization is inherantly lazy. That's not going to change. Not by my hand, anyway. Knowing that isn't helping me deal with it though.
